Finally have the strength to update!!!!

Well hello!

First of all, I'm sorry for all of you that have been waiting for an update or any sort of news as to how we're doing.  It's been a very hard journey the past 10 weeks and I am finally feeling better(ish) because I am back on bedrest!

So the last time I wrote was when I was 20 weeks.  I am now happy to say I am 29 weeks in just a couple of days!!!!  Let me start with the bummer news and then I'll report to the happy!

If the baby didn't make it to 20 weeks, it would have been considered a miscarriage.  If I made it past 20 weeks and he came, it was considered a birth. I was a little afraid because we did not have the intent of parentage documents completed yet.  Those are court documents stating that the second this little guy is born, Michelle is the birth mom and Mike is the birth father.  I was so sad because there was such little hope we would make it much further.  That clot was supposed to dissolve/reabsorb or pass.  It did nothing when I was on bedrest.  It actually showed it had gotten a bit bigger at my 24 week appointment.

I was so very very sad.  I stayed on bedrest for 4 weeks and then developed pneumonia and went to the hospital again.  I was released to go back to work but I took one more week off to recover from the pneumonia.  Work was tough. I had to sit every hour for 10 minutes.  I was exhausted and putting 40 hours in was extremely difficult.  I would lose my breath very easily and my pulse would race.  I had a heart halter monitor on for a day to measure my heartbeat.  The doctor checked my thyroid and that was fine.  They have not gotten the results back from the halter monitor yet.

Every Saturday was a victory for baby V and me!  My dear friend Laura checked in on me almost daily which was amazing! She also congratulates us every Saturday when we've made it another week!

I went back to the doctor for my 24 week check-up and he just couldn't believe that the clot hadn't broke the amniotic sac yet.  It seemed as though it should've still happened at any second.  So everyday I was a nervous nelly that it would break.

I just had my 28 week check up and the doctor seems to think that since the clot hasn't gone by now, it probably won't.  He was thrilled I made it to 28 weeks, now we're shooting for 32 weeks!!!!!  Michelle flew out for this last appointment.  It was great! She got to see baby V on ultrasound and got some really cute 3D pics.

More bummer news... I went to the ER Saturday April 26th because I thought my water had broke.  I was having some leaking and some colored discharge that I thought could've been from the baby.  So I went to our local hospital for them to check, JUST to be safe.  His water did NOT break, but I had protein in my urine.  They put me on antibiotics thinking I had an infection (UTI) coming on.  A couple days later the urine results came back and I did not have any infection.  So at my doctors appointment on Monday with Michelle, my bp was first 148/94.  That's very high for me.  VERY high.  At the end of my appointment, my doctor checked my bp again and it was 152/97.  So with THAT and the protein in my urine last Saturday, he thinks it may be the beginning of pre-eclampsia.  If you don't know what pre-e is, here's what wikipedia says:

Pre-Eclampsia is a disorder of pregnancy characterized by high blood pressure and a large amount of protein in the urine.^[1] The disorder usually occurs in the third trimester of pregnancy and gets worse over time.^[2][3] In severe disease there may be red blood cell breakdown, a low blood platelet count, impaired liver function, kidney dysfunction, swelling, shortness of breath due to fluid in the lungs, or visual disturbances.^[2][3]Preeclampsia increases the risk of poor outcomes for both the mother and the baby.^[3] If left untreated, it may result in seizures at which point it is known as eclampsia.^[2]

 So, it's bad.... but if we can get it under control with BP medicine, we should be ok.  I have another doctor's appointment on Monday to determine if I will stay on bedrest or not.

Michelle took the news very well and continues to keep a positive outlook on eveyerthing. It's hard for me because I know what pre-e risks are probably a lot more than she does (JESSICA BRAUCHT!!!!! I'm thinking of you!!!!!!).... so it's hard for me to connect with her in terms of THIS IS SCARY AND WE OUGHT TO BE NERVOUS!  She is doing better now, I think she was just so excited that baby V is perfect and looks great.  Now we have this hurdle.

Without disclosing any information (SORRY), I just want to say that I have never seen the Lord so faithful in my life!  I knew when Michelle and I were paired, we were paired for a reason and you wouldn't believe the marvelous work the Lord has done lately!  I am so very excited for the next steps and I may share them next Monday!

Here are some fun pic from the past 10 weeks!!!!

This was taken March 26th. That blob by his knee is the clot.  Measured 10x6x8cm at the time. ^

22 weeks ^

23 weeks ^

24 weeks ^

 25 weeks ^

 26 weeks ^

 27 weeks ^

28 weeks ^

 28 weeks ^

 28 weeks ^ after our hospital tour.  Babymama and me! 

Cutie pie sucking his thumb ^

Babymama's social media announcement ^ SOOO SWEET :)

There it is.  A big update.... with a lot less detail.  Mostly you should know, It is still very possible his water might break, I might be on bedrest, I might have pre-eclampsia.  There is going to be a lot of love for this little guy whenever he comes.  Will update Monday :)  LOVE YOU ALL!!!

28 week stats:
156 pounds
bp way high
craving FLAVOR. This is huge for me!
Baby is still breech, he loves to jab and poke for 3 hours at a time!!!
He supposedly weighs 2 lbs 9 oz but who knows how accurate that is.

Letter to twerp:

Hey fellah.  You and I have been through a lot!!! Your parents and Adam and I have been very frightened, worried, upset, nervous, scared all of the above!!! You are one tough little nugget and we love you very much.  Your mom and I have the pre-birth guidelines all figured out and GUESS WHAT?  You are going to go skin-to-skin with your mommy the second you are born!  Even with all the slime or paste.  Your mommy cannot WAIT to see you!!!!!!!!!!

You need to be strong and keep growing for quite some time.  That clot is getting smaller so you should have plenty of room in there.  I love you little dude and am so excited your mom is having a baby shower at the end of this month!  I wish I could be there to celebrate your arrival!!!!

Hang in there little dude!!!!!

Love,
SurroMommy

Follow-up appointment

Today I had a follow up appointment with the doctor I saw at the hospital... same doc who performed the amniocentesis. I found out today that he only works at the hospital 6 weeks out of the year so it was totally amazing that I bled when I did because any other doctor might've missed this blood clot and diagnosed incorrectly. 

The baby is still happy and healthy! Lots of fluid still! Only bummer thing is the clot hasn't gotten any smaller. It also hasn't gotten any bigger so that's good! It looks to be making progress but it's taking awhile. I'm off for the next two weeks in hopes to give it enough time to liquify and pass. The longer it stays in there, the worse it is for the baby. It could cause my water to break still. :(

Keep sending up your prayers!!!!

We all appreciate it!!!

Xoxo

Julie 

Geez kiddo!

Warning: There might be a little bit TMI (too much info) in this post, so carry on with your day, do something else if it might bother you.  Stop reading.  I'm writing it for my memory and for the IPs!

At 3:00 am on Monday morning (3/2/15) I woke up to a huge gush of liquid. I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom and found I was bleeding severely. I called for Adam. He's normally a heavy sleeper but surprisingly he heard me and came running. I had left a trail of blood all the way to the bathroom, that's how bad I was bleeding. We were terrified but since I had bled in January and everything was "ok" we figured I would just call the doctor in the morning. We cleaned up the mess and I tried to lay back down. It happened 2 more times and I told Adam if it happened one more time I was going to the hospital. A couple minutes later it did so I left for the hospital. Adam stayed with home with the kids of course. It was 3:35 am when I left. 

I went to the ER and since I was past 18 weeks (19w2d to be exact) they sent me up to their labor and delivery ward for monitoring. I was beyond terrified. This is not where you wanna be for another 20 weeks!  

I had the most horrible Obgyn doctor I've ever come in contact with. She was the hospital's oncall doc at the time. She was just awful. She didn't know how to use half the tools needed to exam me. And then I tested positive for amniotic fluid and her response was a tap on my leg and an "I'm so sorry to hear that." I asked her what happens if there's fluid and she said "the baby won't make it."  I lost it. Absolutely went into panic mode. Cried and hyperventilated. I was so so so scared and beyond heartbroken for my IPs. I have about 22 (total guess) close mom friends online who have been by my side since Grey was born. I told them this and many said that it is probably a false positive because of the blood. The doc didn't say that. She told me I was going to miscarry. I texted Adam and told him to get a sitter asap (at 6 am!) and get to me. Fortunately he did find someone   Anneke if you're reading, thank you from every part of my heart!!! 

I had an ultrasound with the doc and she didn't really say anything about the fluid level, she just checked for a heartbeat. There was this huge ugly blob id never seen before and I asked her what it was. She said it was the placenta. A radiologist came in to take some measurements and said the blob was the placenta too.

It was determined that if I was leaking amniotic fluid, I needed to be transferred to Denver where they have a higher level of care. The doctor who did my amnio happened to be the head doc at the hospital I was being transferred to (University of Colorado in Aurora). The oncall Obgyn I saw called him to let him know I was coming. He remembered me because I was the only patient he'd ever had that said the amnio hurt as bad as I said it did. 

I was taken by ambulance, Adam followed. I got there around 11am and when that doc saw me he said, "this has never happened to me before!". I could tell he thought he caused it from the amnio. I didn't think that at all. I thought it was from the placenta previa! 

I got settled into a triage room and he came shortly to do a scan. Within 5 seconds he saw the problem. He said "I have good news, and I have bad news. Good news is, there's plenty of fluid, bad news is, there's a massive blood clot here in your uterus." Whoa. Say what?! Turns out he accidentally hit a vein when he did the amnio. He couldn't see the vein and checked again at the hospital and still didn't see it. Another doc came in and she didn't see the clot at first either. He said that had he not JUST seen my uterus on tues at my amnio, he would've missed it too. He also said that if I hadn't clotted, I would've bled out. Yikes. 

So this blood clot is 8x5x4cm and the hope is that it liquifies this week and passes. If it doesn't, that's bad. It could absorb too... But if none of that happens it's bad because it would cause the amniotic sac to break. At this point, the baby would not be viable so we're praying with everything we've got that that doesn't happen. I have another appoinent on Monday to see if the clot has gotten smaller. 

Here's a pic of it (top right):

For comparassion, that's the baby's leg to the bottom left. The placenta is the big mass underneath the clot. 

Here's the prayers im asking for:

-my health 

-no infection for me

-clot to pass

-IPs faith in my body

-healing for the IPs' hearts. They're feeling extremely guilty for doing the amnio

-that they wouldn't be mad at the doc that accidentally caused this. He is my new "high-risk doctor"

-that this baby would stay put for the remainder of the pregnancy and cause no more problems

Letter to twerp: 

Hey fellah. You've really been giving your mom and dad (and my family!) a scare lately. Can you please just take it easy on us for a while? I know you're anxious to meet everyone but you're going to have to wait. It's not safe for your mom to carry you, so I'm doing it for her. So for right now, you need to listen to me and do as I say! Be a good little boy. You're freaking your parents out. I know you're doing it because i can handle it but if you want a brother or sister someday, you've gotta stop! Relax, get comfy, stay cozy and please please please give your parents a break!! I love you more than words, little twerp. 

XOXO TUMMY

Appointment in California

As you know, I had an appointment in California on Monday. Michelle picked me up from LAX and took me to my hotel (Hilton-awesome). Then we had lunch with her sister-in-law and her nephew. It was right by the ocean. AWESOME!!! 

Around 3:00 we headed to Tarzana where I had a very thorough ultrasound with a doctor recommended by the IPs' fertility doctor. The baby is healthy and perfect! This is great news because I had a blood test come back with a chromosome abnormality. I loved when the doctor said "I have no idea why the results are what they are. This baby is perfect!" I still have a few more tests to do, including an amnio in a couple weeks. But at least there's a huge relief that the baby is prefect!!! 

I did get some pretty sad/disappointing news that I would appreciate prayers over. I have a placenta previa which means the placenta is covering my cervix. This is bad for a few different reasons but the biggest for me is that it is extremely unlikely I will be able to deliver how I want to. It's almost certain I will need a c-section and that really bums me out. I'm glad I know now though and have 4+ months to adjust to this fact.

Anyway, pray that the placenta somehow moves as my uterus grows!!! I would be elated if at 38 weeks they say "oh jk you can deliver naturally!!" So that's what i'm praying for and ask that you join me in that! 

Been having contractions already, not enough to concern me, but they definitely feel different than Braxton hicks in my two previous pregnancies. 

Here's a pic of the little guy! 

Mom & Dad got a ton of pics. They really loved seeing him!!! Nicole from the agency came with too. I have to tell you, I am so impressed with this agency... I just can't believe how much they do for both the IPs and the surro moms. They're incredible!!! Contact me if you're ever interested in becoming a surrogate! 

Thank you for the prayers and continued support!! Xoxox Julie 

Been awhile since I updated!!!

Hi friends & family! I have been very busy at work and haven't had a ton of time to update here! But I just had my 16 week check up so here's an update!

It's a boy!!! I sent balloons and some flowers to my IPs when it was time to reveal the gender! Michelle was going to be the first to find out, but the doctor accidentally let it slip when he was going over my blood test results! 

That pic is from a video when Mike came home from work. She found out a couple hours earlier. :) 

There's twerp at 16 weeks! He's getting big!!!

Monday I am flying to California for a doctor's appointment and should be home Tuesday! I'm excited for my IPs to get to see the little fellah in an ultrasound for he first time!

16 weeks stats:

Weight: 144

Cravings: nothing

Twerp's movements: he started kicked at 13 weeks! Ahhhhh!!! He's a very active little guy. 

Prayers please for a safe trip for me and that the check up goes well! Also, Adam will be in Minnesota for his grandmother's funeral at the same time that I will be in California, so please pray my children are angels for Anneke and Stacie! Thank you! 

A scary night!

Last night around 5:00 I woke up from a little nap and had some cramping which turned into a LOT of bleeding. It scared the crap out of me. I thought I lost the baby.

Adam took me to the ER and after many many hours of waiting, I had an ultrasound and feared the worst. I asked the ultrasound tech if she would be able to tell me if there was a heartbeat or not and she said "I'm not allowed to tell you but you're welcome to watch the monitor and look for yourself." 

I couldn't see the monitor in the position I was in, but Adam could. Eventually she turned the screen to me and said "look!" She had the cursor pointing right to the heartbeat. I lost it! I cried so hard and thanked the Lord. It was about 6 hours of agonizing heartbreak as I waited thinking about Michelle & Mike. I was so so so so so sad and didn't know how I would heal after losing someone else's baby. I felt like such a disappointment all the way until I saw that awesome heartbeat! 

Adam took a video of the heartbeat and sent it to the parents!! As the tech was taking some more measurements, I saw the baby kick all its limbs! Honestly I didn't even know it had arms and legs yet!!! The baby measured 10w6d yesterday and that's exactly how many days I was yesterday!!! Amazing. God is good and faithful! 

I was discharged an hour or so later. Found out I had a sub chorionic  hemorrhage (SCH). From what I understand, the placenta detached a little bit from the uterine wall and some blood formed along with clots. I have an appointment on Wednesday but neither the ER doc or Michelle's fertility doc seem concerned.  Everything should be fine now. 

What a terrifying night for all of us. Thank the Lord everything is ok. So glad!!! 

Starting the belly pics!

My pants are getting snug, my shirts are getting tight, it's clear to see the bump is here! I started taking pics so I can send them to the parents. Michelle loves them of course. My heart is so sad she is not the one getting bigger but I know this baby is safe in me and my body is fit to carry her (yeah it's a her in my head!). So here's the first pic. 

9 weeks 

I have my first doctors appointment on Jan 7th so I'll have some stats then! Morning sickness had FINALLY subsided!!! Yes!!! Headaches are gone! I'm off all medicine now so I'm feeling great!!!

Quick note to the child:

Hey little inch/inch-and-a-half baby! Your mommy and daddy are soooo excited to have you in the family! This Christmas, your daddy made a special onesie just for you! It matches the rest of the family's outfits! I like your little nick-name!!!

A lot of people in my life and in your parents' lives are super excited you are growing so big! In a couple weeks your mommy and daddy are going to announce to the world that you are on your way in July!!!! They can't wait! I can't wait either! They love you so so so much and I know you're going to rock their world in an amazing way!!! Keep growing little baby!!! Your mom said it best: 

So please hang in there little twerp!!!

A lot of people are waiting to meet you!!!! Xoxoxo

Oven