The Ending

I need to apologize for the delay in writing....  a LOT of things came up and I wanted to keep my privacy during that time.

To make a very very long story short, we went to California for my bedrest.  We had hoped that the lower altitude would lower my blood pressure and I would avoid pre-e.

I delivered little baby V on 7/15/15. Here is the birth story:

At around 5:00 am on 7/14 I woke up with steady, awesome contractions.  I had an appointment that day at 10:00 with my OB/GYN and then with another doctor at 11:30.  They would decide at that second appointment if I was going to be induced on 7/16. The contractions continued, steady and strong in the morning.  We went to my appointment and I was 3cm, 50% effaced.  I looked at Michelle and started to cry! I told her "you're going to have a baby today!"  We were all very excited. I was sent to the hospital, since my labor history has been VERY fast.

My awesome doula had arrived shortly after we got there, then Matt, then Adam.  We were all set for a FAST labor.  Or so we thought. :/ . My doula, Kat, thought I would progress quickly as well.  The doctor came at around 12:00 and checked me.  I hadn't progressed at all, so he offered to break my water.  I am always trying to fight any intervention, but since I hadn't progressed and my sac was bulging, my doula even agreed that breaking my water would help move along faster.  I agreed.  That was such a weird experience, and for hours I had huge gushes of water come out still.  It was odd, I didn't enjoy that.  We walked the halls for a very long time.  My contractions were about 3 minutes apart, lasting for about 40 seconds.  I had to stop for a few of them.  I was checked again by the nurses and hand't progressed again :/.  Kat said that when the doc came back at 4, he was probably going to suggest the "p" word.  Pitocin.  I HATE pitocin.  It was so painful when I had Ellie.  So so so very painful. But, I was frustrated that it was taking so long, so I told Kat I would understand.

4:00 rolled around.... 3cm, 80% effaced, baby was at minus 3. That means the baby's head was still far back in the birth canal.  Pitocin.  Ugh.  The whole labor was annoying because the stupid contraction monitor was not picking up my contractions like I could feel them.  I was frustrated that they thought they were not strong enough and they kept increasing the IV drip.  Kat could clearly see they were painful, so she did her best to adjust the monitor so they would get a better visual of how the pitocin was doing.  By 11pm, they had bumped my pitocin up to 17, then 18, then 19, then 20. I was so frustrated! They put an internal monitor in to see the real strength of the contractions.  It rested near the baby's head.  My contractions went off the chart.  They were SO intense and the nurses could finally see.  It was awful.

I was so sad and in so much pain!  I was still at 3cm at 11:00 pm.  I finally started to cry around 11:50pm.  Everyone told me his head just wasn't turning right and he wasn't descending. Kat had me do a few weird movements during some contractions and then BAM. I hit active labor.  His head finally moved! I was checked in a few minutes and was at 5cm, 100% effaced, head was at +1.   I  became VERY sick, back and forth to the bathroom too many times to count.  At 1:30 I could feel it was just about time to push.  I hollered out that I needed to push and I heard one nurse say "just hang on, we're not ready yet!"... which my doula immediately said, "Julie knows her body, knows when it's time to push, can we let her follow her body?" The nurse came to me, put her hand on my shoulder and said, when you're ready, go ahead and push.  I barely kept it together while they were getting the bed ready, letting my body do the work! I had a few small pushes but didn't expect him to come out just yet.  My eyes were closed most of the time from 1:30-after birth, but I tired to sneak glances at the IPs as much as possible.  Before I knew it, they were ready and my legs were up!  One push, 10 seconds total, there he was!  1:59 am on 7/15/15. He went right into his mommy's hands! She was crying when I saw her! Dad was crying, Adam was crying, I was smiling with the biggest face ever!  And for those of you who have given birth, you know the pain is gone as soon as the baby is born.  AH!

Michelle got to do skin to skin with him immediately after he was born.  She held him on the couch and Matt sat next to her.  I watched the whole time while waiting for my placenta to deliver.  Adam stood next to me, kissing my forehead, telling me how proud he was!  30 minutes went by, I had lost 2 liters of blood,  it was time for an intervention again.  The doc tried to retrieve the placenta manually (with his hand) but I was in so much pain from it, I couldn't take it.  He had them give me demerol to kind of put me in a "high" state so I wouldn't feel it as much.  I still felt it.  Adam grasped my hand and held my neck as hard as he could.  He was so scared and felt so bad for me.  I was in so much pain.  Eventually I was taken away for am emergency d&c to remove the placenta.  I woke up to being manually expressed! HA! My doula was getting some colostrum from my breasts to have Michelle feed baby v with.  We then went to my room, which was adjacent to the IPs room... Michelle heard them wheeling me towards my room and she came out with V to see if I would like to hold him!  Groggy and tired, I held the little surro baby for the first time at 4:00 am or so.

I stayed in the hospital for a few days, my hemoglobin was very very low.  They offered a blood transfusion but I declined.  I was discharged on 7/17/15.  He is now almost 6 months old, happy and healthy! The parents are IN LOVE.  <3

Here are some pics:

 My last pregnant pic taken the morning I went into labor: 

I thought it was hilarious how tan the top of my body was, but not the bottom, I couldn't lay on my stomach at the bach obviously :) 

Michelle catching her son :) Look at that face!

Michelle getting ready to do skin-to-skin! notice, i had my hands up so I wouldn't be touching him.  We did delayed cord clamping so he was on my stomach for little while.

Michelle and Matt, with Baby V <3

My wonderful doula after my surgery!

 Me holding baby V for the first time! 

 Adam holding baby V. Such an amazing experience :) 

Thank you all so much, with ALL of my heart, for your love and support during this journey.  You have no idea how much I appreciated all your prayers and kind words.  Baby V is healthy and doing great.  I am too.  :)  THANK YOU THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!!

LOVE WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE,

Julie

Finally have the strength to update!!!!

Well hello!

First of all, I'm sorry for all of you that have been waiting for an update or any sort of news as to how we're doing.  It's been a very hard journey the past 10 weeks and I am finally feeling better(ish) because I am back on bedrest!

So the last time I wrote was when I was 20 weeks.  I am now happy to say I am 29 weeks in just a couple of days!!!!  Let me start with the bummer news and then I'll report to the happy!

If the baby didn't make it to 20 weeks, it would have been considered a miscarriage.  If I made it past 20 weeks and he came, it was considered a birth. I was a little afraid because we did not have the intent of parentage documents completed yet.  Those are court documents stating that the second this little guy is born, Michelle is the birth mom and Mike is the birth father.  I was so sad because there was such little hope we would make it much further.  That clot was supposed to dissolve/reabsorb or pass.  It did nothing when I was on bedrest.  It actually showed it had gotten a bit bigger at my 24 week appointment.

I was so very very sad.  I stayed on bedrest for 4 weeks and then developed pneumonia and went to the hospital again.  I was released to go back to work but I took one more week off to recover from the pneumonia.  Work was tough. I had to sit every hour for 10 minutes.  I was exhausted and putting 40 hours in was extremely difficult.  I would lose my breath very easily and my pulse would race.  I had a heart halter monitor on for a day to measure my heartbeat.  The doctor checked my thyroid and that was fine.  They have not gotten the results back from the halter monitor yet.

Every Saturday was a victory for baby V and me!  My dear friend Laura checked in on me almost daily which was amazing! She also congratulates us every Saturday when we've made it another week!

I went back to the doctor for my 24 week check-up and he just couldn't believe that the clot hadn't broke the amniotic sac yet.  It seemed as though it should've still happened at any second.  So everyday I was a nervous nelly that it would break.

I just had my 28 week check up and the doctor seems to think that since the clot hasn't gone by now, it probably won't.  He was thrilled I made it to 28 weeks, now we're shooting for 32 weeks!!!!!  Michelle flew out for this last appointment.  It was great! She got to see baby V on ultrasound and got some really cute 3D pics.

More bummer news... I went to the ER Saturday April 26th because I thought my water had broke.  I was having some leaking and some colored discharge that I thought could've been from the baby.  So I went to our local hospital for them to check, JUST to be safe.  His water did NOT break, but I had protein in my urine.  They put me on antibiotics thinking I had an infection (UTI) coming on.  A couple days later the urine results came back and I did not have any infection.  So at my doctors appointment on Monday with Michelle, my bp was first 148/94.  That's very high for me.  VERY high.  At the end of my appointment, my doctor checked my bp again and it was 152/97.  So with THAT and the protein in my urine last Saturday, he thinks it may be the beginning of pre-eclampsia.  If you don't know what pre-e is, here's what wikipedia says:

Pre-Eclampsia is a disorder of pregnancy characterized by high blood pressure and a large amount of protein in the urine.^[1] The disorder usually occurs in the third trimester of pregnancy and gets worse over time.^[2][3] In severe disease there may be red blood cell breakdown, a low blood platelet count, impaired liver function, kidney dysfunction, swelling, shortness of breath due to fluid in the lungs, or visual disturbances.^[2][3]Preeclampsia increases the risk of poor outcomes for both the mother and the baby.^[3] If left untreated, it may result in seizures at which point it is known as eclampsia.^[2]

 So, it's bad.... but if we can get it under control with BP medicine, we should be ok.  I have another doctor's appointment on Monday to determine if I will stay on bedrest or not.

Michelle took the news very well and continues to keep a positive outlook on eveyerthing. It's hard for me because I know what pre-e risks are probably a lot more than she does (JESSICA BRAUCHT!!!!! I'm thinking of you!!!!!!).... so it's hard for me to connect with her in terms of THIS IS SCARY AND WE OUGHT TO BE NERVOUS!  She is doing better now, I think she was just so excited that baby V is perfect and looks great.  Now we have this hurdle.

Without disclosing any information (SORRY), I just want to say that I have never seen the Lord so faithful in my life!  I knew when Michelle and I were paired, we were paired for a reason and you wouldn't believe the marvelous work the Lord has done lately!  I am so very excited for the next steps and I may share them next Monday!

Here are some fun pic from the past 10 weeks!!!!

This was taken March 26th. That blob by his knee is the clot.  Measured 10x6x8cm at the time. ^

22 weeks ^

23 weeks ^

24 weeks ^

 25 weeks ^

 26 weeks ^

 27 weeks ^

28 weeks ^

 28 weeks ^

 28 weeks ^ after our hospital tour.  Babymama and me! 

Cutie pie sucking his thumb ^

Babymama's social media announcement ^ SOOO SWEET :)

There it is.  A big update.... with a lot less detail.  Mostly you should know, It is still very possible his water might break, I might be on bedrest, I might have pre-eclampsia.  There is going to be a lot of love for this little guy whenever he comes.  Will update Monday :)  LOVE YOU ALL!!!

28 week stats:
156 pounds
bp way high
craving FLAVOR. This is huge for me!
Baby is still breech, he loves to jab and poke for 3 hours at a time!!!
He supposedly weighs 2 lbs 9 oz but who knows how accurate that is.

Letter to twerp:

Hey fellah.  You and I have been through a lot!!! Your parents and Adam and I have been very frightened, worried, upset, nervous, scared all of the above!!! You are one tough little nugget and we love you very much.  Your mom and I have the pre-birth guidelines all figured out and GUESS WHAT?  You are going to go skin-to-skin with your mommy the second you are born!  Even with all the slime or paste.  Your mommy cannot WAIT to see you!!!!!!!!!!

You need to be strong and keep growing for quite some time.  That clot is getting smaller so you should have plenty of room in there.  I love you little dude and am so excited your mom is having a baby shower at the end of this month!  I wish I could be there to celebrate your arrival!!!!

Hang in there little dude!!!!!

Love,
SurroMommy

Follow-up appointment

Today I had a follow up appointment with the doctor I saw at the hospital... same doc who performed the amniocentesis. I found out today that he only works at the hospital 6 weeks out of the year so it was totally amazing that I bled when I did because any other doctor might've missed this blood clot and diagnosed incorrectly. 

The baby is still happy and healthy! Lots of fluid still! Only bummer thing is the clot hasn't gotten any smaller. It also hasn't gotten any bigger so that's good! It looks to be making progress but it's taking awhile. I'm off for the next two weeks in hopes to give it enough time to liquify and pass. The longer it stays in there, the worse it is for the baby. It could cause my water to break still. :(

Keep sending up your prayers!!!!

We all appreciate it!!!

Xoxo

Julie 

Geez kiddo!

Warning: There might be a little bit TMI (too much info) in this post, so carry on with your day, do something else if it might bother you.  Stop reading.  I'm writing it for my memory and for the IPs!

At 3:00 am on Monday morning (3/2/15) I woke up to a huge gush of liquid. I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom and found I was bleeding severely. I called for Adam. He's normally a heavy sleeper but surprisingly he heard me and came running. I had left a trail of blood all the way to the bathroom, that's how bad I was bleeding. We were terrified but since I had bled in January and everything was "ok" we figured I would just call the doctor in the morning. We cleaned up the mess and I tried to lay back down. It happened 2 more times and I told Adam if it happened one more time I was going to the hospital. A couple minutes later it did so I left for the hospital. Adam stayed with home with the kids of course. It was 3:35 am when I left. 

I went to the ER and since I was past 18 weeks (19w2d to be exact) they sent me up to their labor and delivery ward for monitoring. I was beyond terrified. This is not where you wanna be for another 20 weeks!  

I had the most horrible Obgyn doctor I've ever come in contact with. She was the hospital's oncall doc at the time. She was just awful. She didn't know how to use half the tools needed to exam me. And then I tested positive for amniotic fluid and her response was a tap on my leg and an "I'm so sorry to hear that." I asked her what happens if there's fluid and she said "the baby won't make it."  I lost it. Absolutely went into panic mode. Cried and hyperventilated. I was so so so scared and beyond heartbroken for my IPs. I have about 22 (total guess) close mom friends online who have been by my side since Grey was born. I told them this and many said that it is probably a false positive because of the blood. The doc didn't say that. She told me I was going to miscarry. I texted Adam and told him to get a sitter asap (at 6 am!) and get to me. Fortunately he did find someone   Anneke if you're reading, thank you from every part of my heart!!! 

I had an ultrasound with the doc and she didn't really say anything about the fluid level, she just checked for a heartbeat. There was this huge ugly blob id never seen before and I asked her what it was. She said it was the placenta. A radiologist came in to take some measurements and said the blob was the placenta too.

It was determined that if I was leaking amniotic fluid, I needed to be transferred to Denver where they have a higher level of care. The doctor who did my amnio happened to be the head doc at the hospital I was being transferred to (University of Colorado in Aurora). The oncall Obgyn I saw called him to let him know I was coming. He remembered me because I was the only patient he'd ever had that said the amnio hurt as bad as I said it did. 

I was taken by ambulance, Adam followed. I got there around 11am and when that doc saw me he said, "this has never happened to me before!". I could tell he thought he caused it from the amnio. I didn't think that at all. I thought it was from the placenta previa! 

I got settled into a triage room and he came shortly to do a scan. Within 5 seconds he saw the problem. He said "I have good news, and I have bad news. Good news is, there's plenty of fluid, bad news is, there's a massive blood clot here in your uterus." Whoa. Say what?! Turns out he accidentally hit a vein when he did the amnio. He couldn't see the vein and checked again at the hospital and still didn't see it. Another doc came in and she didn't see the clot at first either. He said that had he not JUST seen my uterus on tues at my amnio, he would've missed it too. He also said that if I hadn't clotted, I would've bled out. Yikes. 

So this blood clot is 8x5x4cm and the hope is that it liquifies this week and passes. If it doesn't, that's bad. It could absorb too... But if none of that happens it's bad because it would cause the amniotic sac to break. At this point, the baby would not be viable so we're praying with everything we've got that that doesn't happen. I have another appoinent on Monday to see if the clot has gotten smaller. 

Here's a pic of it (top right):

For comparassion, that's the baby's leg to the bottom left. The placenta is the big mass underneath the clot. 

Here's the prayers im asking for:

-my health 

-no infection for me

-clot to pass

-IPs faith in my body

-healing for the IPs' hearts. They're feeling extremely guilty for doing the amnio

-that they wouldn't be mad at the doc that accidentally caused this. He is my new "high-risk doctor"

-that this baby would stay put for the remainder of the pregnancy and cause no more problems

Letter to twerp: 

Hey fellah. You've really been giving your mom and dad (and my family!) a scare lately. Can you please just take it easy on us for a while? I know you're anxious to meet everyone but you're going to have to wait. It's not safe for your mom to carry you, so I'm doing it for her. So for right now, you need to listen to me and do as I say! Be a good little boy. You're freaking your parents out. I know you're doing it because i can handle it but if you want a brother or sister someday, you've gotta stop! Relax, get comfy, stay cozy and please please please give your parents a break!! I love you more than words, little twerp. 

XOXO TUMMY

Appointment in California

As you know, I had an appointment in California on Monday. Michelle picked me up from LAX and took me to my hotel (Hilton-awesome). Then we had lunch with her sister-in-law and her nephew. It was right by the ocean. AWESOME!!! 

Around 3:00 we headed to Tarzana where I had a very thorough ultrasound with a doctor recommended by the IPs' fertility doctor. The baby is healthy and perfect! This is great news because I had a blood test come back with a chromosome abnormality. I loved when the doctor said "I have no idea why the results are what they are. This baby is perfect!" I still have a few more tests to do, including an amnio in a couple weeks. But at least there's a huge relief that the baby is prefect!!! 

I did get some pretty sad/disappointing news that I would appreciate prayers over. I have a placenta previa which means the placenta is covering my cervix. This is bad for a few different reasons but the biggest for me is that it is extremely unlikely I will be able to deliver how I want to. It's almost certain I will need a c-section and that really bums me out. I'm glad I know now though and have 4+ months to adjust to this fact.

Anyway, pray that the placenta somehow moves as my uterus grows!!! I would be elated if at 38 weeks they say "oh jk you can deliver naturally!!" So that's what i'm praying for and ask that you join me in that! 

Been having contractions already, not enough to concern me, but they definitely feel different than Braxton hicks in my two previous pregnancies. 

Here's a pic of the little guy! 

Mom & Dad got a ton of pics. They really loved seeing him!!! Nicole from the agency came with too. I have to tell you, I am so impressed with this agency... I just can't believe how much they do for both the IPs and the surro moms. They're incredible!!! Contact me if you're ever interested in becoming a surrogate! 

Thank you for the prayers and continued support!! Xoxox Julie 

Been awhile since I updated!!!

Hi friends & family! I have been very busy at work and haven't had a ton of time to update here! But I just had my 16 week check up so here's an update!

It's a boy!!! I sent balloons and some flowers to my IPs when it was time to reveal the gender! Michelle was going to be the first to find out, but the doctor accidentally let it slip when he was going over my blood test results! 

That pic is from a video when Mike came home from work. She found out a couple hours earlier. :) 

There's twerp at 16 weeks! He's getting big!!!

Monday I am flying to California for a doctor's appointment and should be home Tuesday! I'm excited for my IPs to get to see the little fellah in an ultrasound for he first time!

16 weeks stats:

Weight: 144

Cravings: nothing

Twerp's movements: he started kicked at 13 weeks! Ahhhhh!!! He's a very active little guy. 

Prayers please for a safe trip for me and that the check up goes well! Also, Adam will be in Minnesota for his grandmother's funeral at the same time that I will be in California, so please pray my children are angels for Anneke and Stacie! Thank you! 

A scary night!

Last night around 5:00 I woke up from a little nap and had some cramping which turned into a LOT of bleeding. It scared the crap out of me. I thought I lost the baby.

Adam took me to the ER and after many many hours of waiting, I had an ultrasound and feared the worst. I asked the ultrasound tech if she would be able to tell me if there was a heartbeat or not and she said "I'm not allowed to tell you but you're welcome to watch the monitor and look for yourself." 

I couldn't see the monitor in the position I was in, but Adam could. Eventually she turned the screen to me and said "look!" She had the cursor pointing right to the heartbeat. I lost it! I cried so hard and thanked the Lord. It was about 6 hours of agonizing heartbreak as I waited thinking about Michelle & Mike. I was so so so so so sad and didn't know how I would heal after losing someone else's baby. I felt like such a disappointment all the way until I saw that awesome heartbeat! 

Adam took a video of the heartbeat and sent it to the parents!! As the tech was taking some more measurements, I saw the baby kick all its limbs! Honestly I didn't even know it had arms and legs yet!!! The baby measured 10w6d yesterday and that's exactly how many days I was yesterday!!! Amazing. God is good and faithful! 

I was discharged an hour or so later. Found out I had a sub chorionic  hemorrhage (SCH). From what I understand, the placenta detached a little bit from the uterine wall and some blood formed along with clots. I have an appointment on Wednesday but neither the ER doc or Michelle's fertility doc seem concerned.  Everything should be fine now. 

What a terrifying night for all of us. Thank the Lord everything is ok. So glad!!! 

Starting the belly pics!

My pants are getting snug, my shirts are getting tight, it's clear to see the bump is here! I started taking pics so I can send them to the parents. Michelle loves them of course. My heart is so sad she is not the one getting bigger but I know this baby is safe in me and my body is fit to carry her (yeah it's a her in my head!). So here's the first pic. 

9 weeks 

I have my first doctors appointment on Jan 7th so I'll have some stats then! Morning sickness had FINALLY subsided!!! Yes!!! Headaches are gone! I'm off all medicine now so I'm feeling great!!!

Quick note to the child:

Hey little inch/inch-and-a-half baby! Your mommy and daddy are soooo excited to have you in the family! This Christmas, your daddy made a special onesie just for you! It matches the rest of the family's outfits! I like your little nick-name!!!

A lot of people in my life and in your parents' lives are super excited you are growing so big! In a couple weeks your mommy and daddy are going to announce to the world that you are on your way in July!!!! They can't wait! I can't wait either! They love you so so so much and I know you're going to rock their world in an amazing way!!! Keep growing little baby!!! Your mom said it best: 

So please hang in there little twerp!!!

A lot of people are waiting to meet you!!!! Xoxoxo

Oven 

9 weeks, moving right along!

I'm barely in the mood to eat anything, but if I don't, I get super nauseous. And even when I do eat, I still get nauseous. It's just these early weeks that usually suck for me anyway. With my own two pregnancies, I had morning sickness mostly in the evenings. This time around it usually starts around 11am and lasts till 2 pm and back again 6-8 pm. Yuck. But really, it's totally worth it.

I am officially released from the fertility clinic in California! I get to see my normal Obgyn care from here on out. And the best part...... I start weaning off progesterone and estrogen meds starting on the day after Christmas!!!

I have my first appointment on January 7th at Littleton Obgyn. They came highly recommended from the monitoring clinic I had all my ultrasounds at. I spoke with a couple different clinics and this is the one I liked the best! I'll also tour Littleton Adventist hospital that day too... So I know what to tell Michelle! Hopefully it's somewhere she'll love too!! :D 

Christmas is almost here and I just can't stop thinking how awesome it is to know this is their last Christmas without a baby together! I know I've said it before, but they're going to be amazing parents and I can't wait to see their little bugger grow and grow and grow!

Grey has been talking about their baby a lot. I ask him very specific questions to see what he really comprehends... Like "so who is going to take the baby home with them? Who is going to raise the baby until they're all big and grown up?" He understands everything. It's awesome. 

Till next time.... Julie 

7+ weeks!

I'm 7 weeks along now, meaning 3 more weeks or so till I can stop taking the progesterone and estrogen. I can't wait!!! 

The intended mom downloaded the babycenter app so she can see her developing fetus everyday!!! I'm excited for her! I remember with my first I was so excited every week to know the size baby was and to see developments, but with my second it went so fast I didn't follow it as closely. This week the little bugger is the size of a blueberry and developing hands and feet! 

This week I will hopefully get a doctors appointment set up for my normal OB care. I have to deliver at a level III nicu which means I have to find a doctor in denver too. I've got some choices but I want to make sure it's someone/somewhere Michelle & Mike want to go too. It is after all their child!

Tomorrow I have another ultrasound! It's a lot for sure... But just a few more weeks and I'll be cleared for normal check ups!

Potato craving finally subsided!!!!! Thankful for that!

<3 Julie 

Once upon a time....

... there was a 32 year old carrying ONE baby!!! :D 

Big week for us here!!! 

I turned 32 on Thanksgiving! The intended mom sent me a video of her nieces and nephew singing happy birthday to me. It was so sweet! 

I had another ultrasound on Monday and I had the doctor check twice, only one baby!!!! 

Spud's heart rate was 115bpm! Perfectly normal for a 6w2d old twerp! 

Nausea still comes and goes but thankfully it's nothing I can't handle! I'm tough as... Well something tough I suppose!

I was snuggling with Ellie tonight and told Adam how sad I am that Michelle and Matt don't have this right now! It still breaks my heart and I'm literally counting the days (235!!!) till their little baked potato arrives!!! 

A dear mom friend of mine is going to have her baby any second, and as I'm thinking of the little boy she'll soon be snuggling, I keep thinking about when this baby comes! I reallyyyyyy hope I can keep my eyes open to see their faces! I can't wait to see Michelle hold her baby for the first time and eventually, let Matt do the same lol! :D

<3 Julie 

Ultrasound last Monday!

LI've been hesitating writing this because I'm just not certain the verdict of "one baby or two" is correct. I recorded a little video and I see a second embryo appear 3 different times, in the same spot, but the lady doing the scan only focused on the first one that came into view. So, I say it's still undecided! But the great news is, the one gestational sac she saw has an egg yolk in it, which means at least one baby is developing! The sac measured just as our dates show, so I am officially 5w6d and the due date is July 25th!!! 

Here is some pics of their little "spud" ... :)

Here's where I think I see two together:

**Stats**

5w6d

-Craving potatoes, all the time. 

-My sense of smell is not only strong, but "off" according to others

-Minimal morning sickness 

-139 pounds 

-Frequent nightmares (though the IM sent me some homeopathic remedy!! Can't wait to try it!)

Letter to spud:

Hey spud (that's your nickname because i want to eat potatoes alllllllll the time)... you don't know me yet, but before you know it, you'll be hearing my voice, a lot. Don't be mistaken, I love you dearly, but not even close to how much your mommy and daddy love you!!! They are still soooo excited to meet you next summer!!! It will be here before you know it! They can't wait to share your future arrival with the world! I know they think about you all the time, and I have to tell you it is a HUGE honor to help bring you into the world. I know we'll always know you as you grow up, I can't wait to see who you become! Be a good little spud and grow just how you're supposed to grow! "See you" Monday for your second ultrasound! I should see your heartbeat that day! Can't wait to send that video to your parents !!!! 

Love,

Oven. 

Big day tomorrow!

Tomorrow is my first ultrasound! Hopefully I can make it, this snow is supposed to keep going through Wednesday. It was blue skies all morning and now it's dumping! I really hope I don't miss my appointment due to the tunnel shutting down at all!

If I make it tomorrow, I'm assuming they'll be able to see if there's one or two babies! I was going to FaceTime with the intended mom but I think I'll record it instead in case the video cuts out at all. That way I can send her a video of the whole thing and she wouldn't have missed anything! 

I'm pretty excited. Feeling good, nausea comes and goes but it's still super early. I'm craving potatoes (all kinds) like crazy. Baked, mashed, fries, dumplings etc. I googled it and apparently the drop in blood sugar could be why I'm craving carbs!  I didn't have any crazy cravings with either kid except with grey, I wanted orange juice alllllllllll the time. Oh and Ellie was meatball subs. I guess that's kind of weird! 

Looking forward to tomorrow, hopefully I can make it!!!

Well...

Here is the day of the transfer! (That's me on valium. I look normal!) November 6th! 

Here's the day AFTER the transfer:

And here's 4 days after the transfer:

!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited for the intended parents, you have no idea!!!! It's the weirdest thing to me. I don't feel the excitement that I felt when I got pregnant with either of my kids. This is completely different. It's like the IM (intended mom) is pregnant and I'm just going to be by her side. I can't really explain it but it feels super different than both my prior pregnancies.

I had a crazy dream in the early morning of Monday the 10th. Like CRAZY... Murder, kidnapping and other insane things. I woke up Monday morning and KNEW I was pregnant. I took a home pregnancy test and I swear I saw a faint faint faint line. By lunch time it was completely visable. No denying I was seeing things, it was POSITIVE!!!!

We got to skype with the IPs that evening and surprise them!!! Adam recorded the whole thing. It was awesome. They're SOOOOO excited. I had to tell them right away because they deserve to know their precious embryo(s) made it this far at least!! We're in this together and I didn't feel right not telling them right away! Fortunately for me, mike was asking Michelle if I could take a pregnancy test yet! I'm glad they wanted to know right away... We hadn't discussed that but they were dying to know too! 

I have my blood drawn on Monday and Wednesday to confirm the pregnancy with blood, and perhaps they'll be able to tell us if it's one baby or two! I feel like it's

two, which is totally cool! 

So great job everyone praying that the embryos would stick stick stick! Please continue to pray for us!

In addition, pray for my IPs to have peace of mind during the pregnancy! I know they trust us, but I can only imagine how hard it would be to be so far away from your baby(ies).

Pray also for NO nausea and fatigue for me! It would be a miracle and I would take it in a heartbeat!!!

You guys are the best. Thank you for reading and encouraging us. We're so excited! I know I'm sharing this early but I know so many are probably dying to know. Plus I need your prayers :)

Xoxo 

Julie 

Welcome embryos!!!!! Make yourself comfy!!!

Wow guys. There are two little embryos in my uterus right now. I want so badly for one to stick!!!

Today I woke up at 6:00 am and couldn't fall back asleep really. I don't know if it was the time change, excitement or the fact that I slept all night without waking up for a kiddo... But I was really awake really early! I fell back asleep around 7 and got up a little before 8. 

We had breakfast and then headed to target for some snacks to keep at the hotel. Then off we went to the fertility clinic. The IPs showed up not long after and then Nicole (co-owner of the surrogacy agency) came and we were all chatting in the waiting room till they called my name! Everyone came back to the room so we could talk to the IPs doctor and the embryologist. They discussed the the thawing of the embryos and that everyone agreed on putting 2 in. 

I took my valium, got dressed in the specific garments they provided and then waited. The notes they gave me a week ago said I needed to have my bladder comfortably full so that the cervix would be very visible. Well, I did--or so I thought--but when the doc came in he said it needed to be much more full. So I drank another bottle of water and he checked and said I still needed to drink more. I assume my stomach must be small but my bladder must be large because of this. A nurse checked it again and thought it looked great, the doc came in a few min later and my bladder was more full than it was 3 min ago!

He inserted a catheter into my cervix and we got to watch on the ultrasound as the little embryos were transferred in! It was insanely cool. The IF didn't really want to be in the room but we kind of convinced him he should be there! And there it was. It was done!  I was told I wouldn't be on bed rest or anything but to just take it easy! The Valium only made me tired. That's all. It didn't make me feel dumb like I was worried it would. When we came home, I slept for 3 hours. My legs felt a little slow to move after that.

I've had light cramping--a lot like when I felt Grey's little embryo implant. I'm trying not go get my hopes up but it's possible that was what I was feeling. The embryos were 5 days old so implantation could happen within a day. That would be amazing. I plan on taking a HPT in 5 days, or earlier if I feel symptoms!

The kids are doing excellent!!!! Thank you everyone for your kind words and prayers. We feel so great to be able to do this and to have so much support. Now we wait!  

Xoxo 

Julie 

Tomorrow is the big day!!!

We arrived in LA today at 10:30 am and had brunch with the IPs!! It was great and we just chatted away getting to know eachother more for 2 hours! It was great to spend time with them before the big day!!

After that we borrowed Michelle & mike's bikes so we could ride down Venice beach for a bit! Then we went to the Griffith observatory with Adam's lifelong friend and the best man in our wedding! We watched the sunset over LA and then went to dinner with him. It's always so wonderful to see him!!! We love you Aaron!!!

We drove up to Thousand Oaks and I tell you what, I'm sooooooo ready for bed! Tomorrow we need to be at the Fertility Clinic at 9:45 tomorrow morning. I'm excited and I can't believe it's here already!!!! I sooooo want it to work out!!! I'm still nervous for the Valium but I know it will be ok.  Maybe I need a Valium to take my valium! Ha!!!

I will update tomorrow afternoon!!! Kiddos are having a great time with the crowe's!!! They're doing great. I'm so thankful. I'm able to relax about that now!!

Check back tomorrow!!!

Holy moly only 5 more days!!!!

I had another ultrasound and bloodwork--everything looks perfect! They said my uterus is "GORGEOUS"!!! My lining is nice and thick and my ovaries are quiet. I was very happy to hear that!!!

The agency booked our flights, hotel and car rental! We're all set to go! We will be staying close to the ocean, right by Malibu beach!

I have a huge task ahead of me! We are doing a big move at my store along with a new floorset and I have hired a ton of people to help out!!! I have support coming from another store (Castle Rock). The store manager's name is Annie. She's wonderful! She came on Friday so we could map out the big move.  She said her goal is to keep my stress level at a minimum so I can get pregnant in a few days! She's awesome. Thank you Annie!!!!!

I get blood drawn on November 11th (happy bday amy!) and take my first pregnancy test on November 17th! I'm so excited and I SOOOOOO hope it works out for my IPs!!!

Tonight I take progesterone for the first time!!! I'm a little anxious about that. Hope there's no crazy side effects!

Check back soon, we're heading to LA on Wednesday morning!

Xoxo Julie 

13 days!!!!

The embryo transfer is in 13 days!!!! I can't believe it! It feels like yesterday I was filling out my application online.  Okay maybe not like yesterday.  It's been very slow in some aspects, but in hindsight it's gone FAST.  I mean this is a HUGE decision for everyone involved.  The agency I'm working with has been WONDERFUL from day 1! I was just re-reading my benefit package and I realized I hadn't applied for life insurance yet and it says I have to have that done before the first embryo transfer! Usually the agency is right on top of it and telling me exactly what I need to get done, so I panicked for a minute until I realized the agency did it for me! #wonderful

The intended mom is getting so excited!  She picked up her little embryos from UCLA and brought them to the clinic where the transfer will happen in Thousand Oaks, CA.  She is so excited! I cannot wait!  I am hoping to come up with a fun way to surprise her IF she's(Well, ME) pregnant first go around! I've thought of some fun ideas, but if any of you can think of any, please feel free to share! I would love it if SHE could take the test and SHE could find out first, but since that can't happen, I really want to take her by surprise.  It's going to be kind of hard since she'll be waiting that day, but I think I can pull it off ;)

I had another appointment in Denver on Tuesday! They just checked my bloodwork and also did an ultrasound again! Everything is going great! I am taking 4 pills of hormones a day now instead of 3 just to make sure we're ready in 12 days!!!

I wanted to give a special shot out to our dear friends who will be watching the kiddos when we're gone.  It will be great to have Adam with, and I can't wait to see Michelle and Mike! It will be hard to be without the kids but I am excited for them cause I know they'll have a blast.  Thank you everyone!!!

xoxo
Julie

Hormones, antibiotics and some confusion!

Another update! I started hormones on Thursday, 3x a day. I don't feel any different or anything from them, however I do notice the antibiotics! They've upset my stomach pretty bad but it's ok. I know they're a precautionary step to make sure we're all set for the transfer (WHICH IS IN 17 DAYS EVERYONE!!!). I will go for another ultrasound on Tuesday, just to make sure my uterus is doing what it should be in preparation for the embryo transfer!

This brings me to my next point. I wanted to clear up any confusion and just make sure I'm not misleading any of you fine folk.  I am going to be a GESTATIONAL surrogate, which basically means I'm just the oven... The baby is no way genetically connected to me. The other kind of surrogate is called a traditional surrogate... In this case, the egg would be the mothers. I have had many people ask me questions which leads me to believe it's not understood that I am a gestational surrogate and not a traditional surrogate. I hope that helps!

Michelle and Mike are REALLYYYYYY getting excited.... Of course we are too!!!! They're going to make AWESOME parents!!!

Please keep praying for all of us, especially the IPs and their wittle baby!!!

Love you all

Julie 

Legal Clearance!!!

Welllllllllllll,

After a long 2 weeks, we final were issued legal clearance yesterday! This means that both the IPs and Adam and I have signed and notarized the surrogacy agreement, hence making it official!!!  I took my last BC pill today, and start medicine (hormones I think) on Monday (I think!).  There's so much to learn here, I am not really sure what happens between now and the embryo transfer.  Because of the delay in getting the documents signed, our transfer date got pushed back one week! The new date is November 6th!

I also JUST found out I can open enroll in a new plan at AEO! That means I could switch to the more expensive health insurance with the lower out of pocket/copay! I will figure all that out, but for now... that's exciting because I was upset over having had picked the cheaper insurance.  Still great insurance, just a higher copay and deductible!

I found a support group on fbook for surrogates! I am excited because while I have an awesome group of women online (MDC Spring Mamas SHOT OUT!!!!) who have known me since I was pregnant with Grey, I need to speak with people who have been surrogates before!  In fact, one of those lovely ladies suggested I join the fbook surrogate group!

I will try to update more.  I'm sure so many are so curious! The IPs do know I have this blog and they are fine with it, so I will continue to share what I can :)

Listen to a few things Grey has been saying about me being a surrogate:

Grey: "Mommy, you're having a baby?"
Me: "Yes, for my friend Michelle, remember?"
Grey: "Oh yeah cause her tummy hurts! Mommy, you'll have the baby and then give baby to her mommy and make her tummy not hurt anymore??!!"

We had to go back to the lawyer's office a second time to sign the contract (ugh!) and this time we didn't have childcare so the kids came with....

Grey: "Mommy what are you doing?"
Me: "I'm signing all these pages! It's a lot huh?"
Grey: "Is that for the baby you're going to have mommy?"
Me: "Yes but it's not my baby, remember? It's for my friend!"
Grey: "Oh yeah, the one whose tummy hurts!"

He is the sweetest thing ever! I look forward to the little things he says along the way! He seems to understand that I'm going to carry a baby for my friend, but that's about it right now!

xoxo JULIE