Geez kiddo!

Warning: There might be a little bit TMI (too much info) in this post, so carry on with your day, do something else if it might bother you.  Stop reading.  I'm writing it for my memory and for the IPs!

At 3:00 am on Monday morning (3/2/15) I woke up to a huge gush of liquid. I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom and found I was bleeding severely. I called for Adam. He's normally a heavy sleeper but surprisingly he heard me and came running. I had left a trail of blood all the way to the bathroom, that's how bad I was bleeding. We were terrified but since I had bled in January and everything was "ok" we figured I would just call the doctor in the morning. We cleaned up the mess and I tried to lay back down. It happened 2 more times and I told Adam if it happened one more time I was going to the hospital. A couple minutes later it did so I left for the hospital. Adam stayed with home with the kids of course. It was 3:35 am when I left. 

I went to the ER and since I was past 18 weeks (19w2d to be exact) they sent me up to their labor and delivery ward for monitoring. I was beyond terrified. This is not where you wanna be for another 20 weeks!  

I had the most horrible Obgyn doctor I've ever come in contact with. She was the hospital's oncall doc at the time. She was just awful. She didn't know how to use half the tools needed to exam me. And then I tested positive for amniotic fluid and her response was a tap on my leg and an "I'm so sorry to hear that." I asked her what happens if there's fluid and she said "the baby won't make it."  I lost it. Absolutely went into panic mode. Cried and hyperventilated. I was so so so scared and beyond heartbroken for my IPs. I have about 22 (total guess) close mom friends online who have been by my side since Grey was born. I told them this and many said that it is probably a false positive because of the blood. The doc didn't say that. She told me I was going to miscarry. I texted Adam and told him to get a sitter asap (at 6 am!) and get to me. Fortunately he did find someone   Anneke if you're reading, thank you from every part of my heart!!! 

I had an ultrasound with the doc and she didn't really say anything about the fluid level, she just checked for a heartbeat. There was this huge ugly blob id never seen before and I asked her what it was. She said it was the placenta. A radiologist came in to take some measurements and said the blob was the placenta too.

It was determined that if I was leaking amniotic fluid, I needed to be transferred to Denver where they have a higher level of care. The doctor who did my amnio happened to be the head doc at the hospital I was being transferred to (University of Colorado in Aurora). The oncall Obgyn I saw called him to let him know I was coming. He remembered me because I was the only patient he'd ever had that said the amnio hurt as bad as I said it did. 

I was taken by ambulance, Adam followed. I got there around 11am and when that doc saw me he said, "this has never happened to me before!". I could tell he thought he caused it from the amnio. I didn't think that at all. I thought it was from the placenta previa! 

I got settled into a triage room and he came shortly to do a scan. Within 5 seconds he saw the problem. He said "I have good news, and I have bad news. Good news is, there's plenty of fluid, bad news is, there's a massive blood clot here in your uterus." Whoa. Say what?! Turns out he accidentally hit a vein when he did the amnio. He couldn't see the vein and checked again at the hospital and still didn't see it. Another doc came in and she didn't see the clot at first either. He said that had he not JUST seen my uterus on tues at my amnio, he would've missed it too. He also said that if I hadn't clotted, I would've bled out. Yikes. 

So this blood clot is 8x5x4cm and the hope is that it liquifies this week and passes. If it doesn't, that's bad. It could absorb too... But if none of that happens it's bad because it would cause the amniotic sac to break. At this point, the baby would not be viable so we're praying with everything we've got that that doesn't happen. I have another appoinent on Monday to see if the clot has gotten smaller. 

Here's a pic of it (top right):

For comparassion, that's the baby's leg to the bottom left. The placenta is the big mass underneath the clot. 

Here's the prayers im asking for:

-my health 

-no infection for me

-clot to pass

-IPs faith in my body

-healing for the IPs' hearts. They're feeling extremely guilty for doing the amnio

-that they wouldn't be mad at the doc that accidentally caused this. He is my new "high-risk doctor"

-that this baby would stay put for the remainder of the pregnancy and cause no more problems

Letter to twerp: 

Hey fellah. You've really been giving your mom and dad (and my family!) a scare lately. Can you please just take it easy on us for a while? I know you're anxious to meet everyone but you're going to have to wait. It's not safe for your mom to carry you, so I'm doing it for her. So for right now, you need to listen to me and do as I say! Be a good little boy. You're freaking your parents out. I know you're doing it because i can handle it but if you want a brother or sister someday, you've gotta stop! Relax, get comfy, stay cozy and please please please give your parents a break!! I love you more than words, little twerp. 

XOXO TUMMY

Appointment in California

As you know, I had an appointment in California on Monday. Michelle picked me up from LAX and took me to my hotel (Hilton-awesome). Then we had lunch with her sister-in-law and her nephew. It was right by the ocean. AWESOME!!! 

Around 3:00 we headed to Tarzana where I had a very thorough ultrasound with a doctor recommended by the IPs' fertility doctor. The baby is healthy and perfect! This is great news because I had a blood test come back with a chromosome abnormality. I loved when the doctor said "I have no idea why the results are what they are. This baby is perfect!" I still have a few more tests to do, including an amnio in a couple weeks. But at least there's a huge relief that the baby is prefect!!! 

I did get some pretty sad/disappointing news that I would appreciate prayers over. I have a placenta previa which means the placenta is covering my cervix. This is bad for a few different reasons but the biggest for me is that it is extremely unlikely I will be able to deliver how I want to. It's almost certain I will need a c-section and that really bums me out. I'm glad I know now though and have 4+ months to adjust to this fact.

Anyway, pray that the placenta somehow moves as my uterus grows!!! I would be elated if at 38 weeks they say "oh jk you can deliver naturally!!" So that's what i'm praying for and ask that you join me in that! 

Been having contractions already, not enough to concern me, but they definitely feel different than Braxton hicks in my two previous pregnancies. 

Here's a pic of the little guy! 

Mom & Dad got a ton of pics. They really loved seeing him!!! Nicole from the agency came with too. I have to tell you, I am so impressed with this agency... I just can't believe how much they do for both the IPs and the surro moms. They're incredible!!! Contact me if you're ever interested in becoming a surrogate! 

Thank you for the prayers and continued support!! Xoxox Julie 

Been awhile since I updated!!!

Hi friends & family! I have been very busy at work and haven't had a ton of time to update here! But I just had my 16 week check up so here's an update!

It's a boy!!! I sent balloons and some flowers to my IPs when it was time to reveal the gender! Michelle was going to be the first to find out, but the doctor accidentally let it slip when he was going over my blood test results! 

That pic is from a video when Mike came home from work. She found out a couple hours earlier. :) 

There's twerp at 16 weeks! He's getting big!!!

Monday I am flying to California for a doctor's appointment and should be home Tuesday! I'm excited for my IPs to get to see the little fellah in an ultrasound for he first time!

16 weeks stats:

Weight: 144

Cravings: nothing

Twerp's movements: he started kicked at 13 weeks! Ahhhhh!!! He's a very active little guy. 

Prayers please for a safe trip for me and that the check up goes well! Also, Adam will be in Minnesota for his grandmother's funeral at the same time that I will be in California, so please pray my children are angels for Anneke and Stacie! Thank you! 

A scary night!

Last night around 5:00 I woke up from a little nap and had some cramping which turned into a LOT of bleeding. It scared the crap out of me. I thought I lost the baby.

Adam took me to the ER and after many many hours of waiting, I had an ultrasound and feared the worst. I asked the ultrasound tech if she would be able to tell me if there was a heartbeat or not and she said "I'm not allowed to tell you but you're welcome to watch the monitor and look for yourself." 

I couldn't see the monitor in the position I was in, but Adam could. Eventually she turned the screen to me and said "look!" She had the cursor pointing right to the heartbeat. I lost it! I cried so hard and thanked the Lord. It was about 6 hours of agonizing heartbreak as I waited thinking about Michelle & Mike. I was so so so so so sad and didn't know how I would heal after losing someone else's baby. I felt like such a disappointment all the way until I saw that awesome heartbeat! 

Adam took a video of the heartbeat and sent it to the parents!! As the tech was taking some more measurements, I saw the baby kick all its limbs! Honestly I didn't even know it had arms and legs yet!!! The baby measured 10w6d yesterday and that's exactly how many days I was yesterday!!! Amazing. God is good and faithful! 

I was discharged an hour or so later. Found out I had a sub chorionic  hemorrhage (SCH). From what I understand, the placenta detached a little bit from the uterine wall and some blood formed along with clots. I have an appointment on Wednesday but neither the ER doc or Michelle's fertility doc seem concerned.  Everything should be fine now. 

What a terrifying night for all of us. Thank the Lord everything is ok. So glad!!! 

Starting the belly pics!

My pants are getting snug, my shirts are getting tight, it's clear to see the bump is here! I started taking pics so I can send them to the parents. Michelle loves them of course. My heart is so sad she is not the one getting bigger but I know this baby is safe in me and my body is fit to carry her (yeah it's a her in my head!). So here's the first pic. 

9 weeks 

I have my first doctors appointment on Jan 7th so I'll have some stats then! Morning sickness had FINALLY subsided!!! Yes!!! Headaches are gone! I'm off all medicine now so I'm feeling great!!!

Quick note to the child:

Hey little inch/inch-and-a-half baby! Your mommy and daddy are soooo excited to have you in the family! This Christmas, your daddy made a special onesie just for you! It matches the rest of the family's outfits! I like your little nick-name!!!

A lot of people in my life and in your parents' lives are super excited you are growing so big! In a couple weeks your mommy and daddy are going to announce to the world that you are on your way in July!!!! They can't wait! I can't wait either! They love you so so so much and I know you're going to rock their world in an amazing way!!! Keep growing little baby!!! Your mom said it best: 

So please hang in there little twerp!!!

A lot of people are waiting to meet you!!!! Xoxoxo

Oven 

9 weeks, moving right along!

I'm barely in the mood to eat anything, but if I don't, I get super nauseous. And even when I do eat, I still get nauseous. It's just these early weeks that usually suck for me anyway. With my own two pregnancies, I had morning sickness mostly in the evenings. This time around it usually starts around 11am and lasts till 2 pm and back again 6-8 pm. Yuck. But really, it's totally worth it.

I am officially released from the fertility clinic in California! I get to see my normal Obgyn care from here on out. And the best part...... I start weaning off progesterone and estrogen meds starting on the day after Christmas!!!

I have my first appointment on January 7th at Littleton Obgyn. They came highly recommended from the monitoring clinic I had all my ultrasounds at. I spoke with a couple different clinics and this is the one I liked the best! I'll also tour Littleton Adventist hospital that day too... So I know what to tell Michelle! Hopefully it's somewhere she'll love too!! :D 

Christmas is almost here and I just can't stop thinking how awesome it is to know this is their last Christmas without a baby together! I know I've said it before, but they're going to be amazing parents and I can't wait to see their little bugger grow and grow and grow!

Grey has been talking about their baby a lot. I ask him very specific questions to see what he really comprehends... Like "so who is going to take the baby home with them? Who is going to raise the baby until they're all big and grown up?" He understands everything. It's awesome. 

Till next time.... Julie 

7+ weeks!

I'm 7 weeks along now, meaning 3 more weeks or so till I can stop taking the progesterone and estrogen. I can't wait!!! 

The intended mom downloaded the babycenter app so she can see her developing fetus everyday!!! I'm excited for her! I remember with my first I was so excited every week to know the size baby was and to see developments, but with my second it went so fast I didn't follow it as closely. This week the little bugger is the size of a blueberry and developing hands and feet! 

This week I will hopefully get a doctors appointment set up for my normal OB care. I have to deliver at a level III nicu which means I have to find a doctor in denver too. I've got some choices but I want to make sure it's someone/somewhere Michelle & Mike want to go too. It is after all their child!

Tomorrow I have another ultrasound! It's a lot for sure... But just a few more weeks and I'll be cleared for normal check ups!

Potato craving finally subsided!!!!! Thankful for that!

<3 Julie